The Experimental Drug Trial
by spikespetslayer
Summary: NEVER trust Howard Wolowitz when he offers you a pill-Sheldon finds this out the hard way and Penny must help him with the afteraffects. Thanks to Jislane35 for the beta! (unbetaed from chapter 4 on).
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon had a headache; no, not a headache, because that would be far too simple for a world-class genius such as himself. He had a migraine and right now, vomiting seemed like a good idea, so he dragged himself out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom.

Leonard was in the kitchen and from the sounds he could hear, cooking breakfast. The smells triggered an even greater nausea response and he kneeled before the toilet, cursing the chemoreceptors as he hurled his stomach contents into the bowl.

He heard Howard and Raj's voices outside in the living room. He realized that they had arrived for their planned outing to the paintball venue. He dragged himself from in front of the toilet and shuffled into the living room, his arm over his eyes to shade them from the light.

"Good morning, gentlemen. I am afraid that I will not be joining you for our outing today."

Howard grinned. "Hangover, Sheldon?"

Sheldon just looked at him. "Very humorous, Howard, no, I have a migraine."

He was amazed to see them moving at double speed, dressing and grabbing at their equipment like the house was on fire. He went to the medicine shelf and turned back to face them, quite upset. "We are out of Aleve."

Leonard turned to look at him. "What do you want me to do about it?" he asked, hoping for an out.

Howard, of all people, provided it for him. "Hey, Sheldon, Bernadette gave me a prototype painkiller that is non-addictive and much easier on the liver and kidneys."

"A prototype? You want me to chance side effects because your wife can get you free untested drugs?"

"It's a pill for your headache, Sheldon, not LSD. Take it, for God's sake. It couldn't hurt." Leonard looked at his roommate, exasperated already. Good thing they were leaving for the day, otherwise he might actually have to kill Sheldon. "Bernadette wouldn't chance Howard getting hurt by something she gave him. If he can take it, it must be safe enough for you to take."

"Good point, Leonard. All right, give me your illicit drugs, Howard." Sheldon held out his hand and Howard dropped two pills into his palm. Sheldon tossed them into his mouth, chasing them with tepid water from the tap, and missed Howard's slightly evil smile.

Leonard didn't, though. They closed the curtains in the apartment, made Sheldon comfortable on the couch, and left for paintball. On the way down the stairs, he turned to Howard. "Okay, I saw that smile. What gives?"

"Oh, let's just say that _one_ of those pills was an excellent migraine remedy."

Leonard paused on the landing between the first and second floor. "What was the other pill?"

Howard gave him a patented smarmy look. "Let's just say that it will give Sheldon a whole new perspective when we talk about our drive to find partners for coitus." He made a lip-zipping motion and continued down the stairs and out to Leonard's car. Leonard looked up the stairs, then back to the front door of the building. Oh, well. Sheldon was a big boy and he needed to learn to take care of himself.

Penny was off this weekend, something that pleased her greatly. She only got one weekend off a month; such was the life of a waitress slash actress. Although the tips were great on the weekends, she would rather spend her Saturdays with the guys. There was always something interesting going on across the hall.

She showered as soon as she got out of bed, not willing to waste a moment of her day, then dressed in a pair of shorts and a strappy little top with a built in bra. She slipped on a pair of flip-flops that were hiding behind the front door, then be-bopped across the hall with a smile on her face.

She opened the door to 4A and paused just inside the frame. She had never seen it so dark in the apartment, even during the night. There was always some kind of nightlight, light saber, computer light, something illuminating the room; today, the curtains were closed, the lights were off, and there seemed to be nobody around.

Scratch that, she thought, her eyes surveying the room. There was a large lump on the couch in Sheldon's spot and the only thing that she could think was that he had come down with another migraine. Sometimes she worried about him and his headaches; she wondered if he had seen a doctor, but knowing him and his hypochondriac tendencies, she knew he had. Maybe it was the multiple CAT scans he submitted himself to so many times a year—whatever was causing them, he really needed to get some type of treatment. The Aleve just wasn't cutting it anymore.

She tiptoed across the room and perched on the edge of the couch, next to the shapeless lump. "Sheldon, are you okay?" she asked in a whisper.

"No, Penny, I am not okay. I have a migraine."

"I thought as much. Have you taken anything for it?"

He pulled the blanket off his face and tried to glare at her. "Do you think that I would be sitting here had I not acquired some kind of pain reliever? Howard gave me some migraine medication that Bernadette is working on. He said it would relieve it quickly, but I have not attained any relief as of yet."

She reached out and patted what she hoped was his knee. "How about I get you an ice pack for the back of your neck?"

"That would be acceptable. Thank you."

She stood and crossed the room to the kitchen. She grabbed some ice out of the freezer and dumped it into a plastic zipper bag as quietly as she could, adding some salt and a trickle of water before closing it securely. Almost as an afterthought, she turned the teakettle on to boil. She plucked a clean dishtowel out of the drawer and wrapped the homemade ice pack in it as she walked back to the couch. "Lean forward for a second," she said.

Sheldon complied and she put the ice on his neck, careful to ensure that no part of the cold plastic touched his skin. He shivered, and then sighed as he leaned back against the couch to hold the ice in place. "Thank you, Penny."

She couldn't stop herself; she reached out and brushed his hair off his forehead. "You're welcome, Shelly-bean. Do you want some hot tea?"

"That would be very nice." He ignored that she used his mother's nickname for him. It was an improvement over Moonpie, he thought, and closed his eyes and it seemed like only seconds later she stood before him with a steaming cup of chamomile tea. He could smell the honeyed liquid as he breathed in the steam from the cup, waiting for it to cool adequately before drinking to prevent burning his tongue. "Penny, thank you again. You know that I eschew company when I have a headache of this magnitude, but I do appreciate the assistance."

"Would you like me to sing you 'Soft Kitty'?" she asked.

"I am not sick."

"Migraine headache is a kind of sick. I know how bad they are for you. I don't mind."

"Very well."

He set the cup on the table next to him and leaned his head back once again.

Her voice was so soft it was nearly a whisper. He almost had to strain to hear it, but it soothed him, almost as much as his own mother's voice singing the song. She reached out and touched his face, stroking his brow as she sang to him and it crossed his mind how soothing it was to have someone stroke his face. It was a revolutionary idea; usually he shied away from physical contact. He couldn't remember anyone touching him like this since Meemaw, years ago. It relaxed him enough to allow him to fall into a light doze.

Penny watched him fall asleep, her fingertips lingering on his furrowed brow. She moved slightly from her hovering position over him and picked up a Cosmopolitan magazine off the coffee table. It wasn't hers, so Raj must have left it there. Mentally shrugging, she flipped idly through the glossy pages until she heard Sheldon shifting under the afghan.

He opened his eyes and she could see that his headache was better. "I feel almost myself again, Penny. I don't know what Howard gave me, but I do believe that I owe him a debt of gratitude."

"Well, you'll just have to tell him when they get back. When will they be back, anyway? I thought you guys had your whole day planned."

"Yes, we were going to paintball, and then we had planned to drive to Long Beach for a visit to Legoworld. I cannot be certain, but I'm sure that they would not go to Legoworld without me, considering it was my idea."

"Yeah, well, they don't have the best track record when it comes to you being sick. Remember the last time?"

Indeed he did. Leonard had lied about working, broken his glasses, and avoided him until he was over the worst of his illness. "Yes, I do. I also know that they are aware I have a migraine and it is not infectious."

"I don't expect them to come back here, to be honest, and you shouldn't either, Sheldon. Don't get your hopes up, sweetie. I'll take you to LEGOLAND sometime, I promise."

"Lego_world_, Penny. Not LEGOLAND." He stood and left the room and she saw that he was still in his pajamas. Definitely not a Sheldon normality, she thought, and then he reappeared in the hall entrance.

"I am going to shower and perform my morning ablutions, Penny. Please, if you would, find us a movie or something to watch when I finish. Nothing very loud or with any explosions, please." Without waiting for her to reply, he turned around and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

She walked around the couch to the movie shelf and ran her fingers over the movies, her nails clicking along their spines. They had watched almost everything the boys owned; she couldn't find anything new that they hadn't see multiple times.

She reached the end of that shelf and squatted down to look at the ones on the bottom shelf. This was the shelf that Sheldon had labeled 'drivel' and so she had never even heard of some of these. She finally chose one that looked interesting from the picture on the front of the cover and popped it into the DVD player.

The start screen was playing on repeat when Sheldon came back into the room, dressed in his usual double tee shirts and khaki pants. She looked up at him and said, "I found one that I haven't seen. It was on the drivel shelf, but it doesn't look bad."

He looked at the splash screen and groaned. "Not that one. Please, Penny."

"Why not? It sounds interesting and it has a strong female lead. Please, Sheldon—I've been nice to you."

He rolled his eyes and returned to his spot on the couch. "All right then."

"Just think—you can explain the scientific impossibilities and continuity errors to me while we watch. You know how much you love to do that."

"Just press play before I change my mind." She grabbed the remote control and did as he asked.

Sheldon really didn't care for this movie. Perhaps it was because it was a treatise on sex robots and interpersonal relationships or just because the acting really was sub-par. Whatever the reason, he just allowed his mind to drift and wander while paying minimal attention to the action on the screen.

Inadvertently, his mind wandered to his female neighbor sitting with him. She was sitting close enough to touch his shoulder with hers, her thigh pressed against his. He really didn't mind such close contact with her; he had no explanation except Penny was different from any other person he had ever come in contact with, including his family. He tolerated actions from her that would earn anyone else a strike and let her touch him indiscriminately. In his world, Penny was, for lack of a better word, special.

She shifted next to him and he caught her scent as it drifted around her. It was strange—she almost smelled like home. "What type shower gel did you use today?" he asked unconsciously.

"It was one that you got me for Christmas that year—apple blossom, I think. I'm still working my way through all those baskets," she finished with a smile, and then she turned her attention back to the television.

Warm. He felt warm, from not only her comment or the reminder of the best gift he had ever received. No, he felt almost feverish, burning from the inside out.

"Penny, please pause the movie. I need you to take my temperature."

She did as he asked and fetched the thermometer from the bathroom. He noticed that she wiped it with an alcohol wipe and let it dry as she crossed the room to him. She really was a good, caring friend, he thought.

She stuck the digital thermometer under his tongue and waited for it to beep before reading it. "Perfect 98.6, Sheldon, why? Do you feel like you're running a temp?"

"I just feel so warm, like I am burning up."

She rested her hand on his forehead as she stood there between his feet, leaning over him to reach him. "You feel fine to me. Not feverish at all."

Sheldon doubled over, a foreign sensation so strong erupting across his skin and blooming in his private parts that he couldn't help himself. "Oh, Penny, something is wrong with me."

She kneeled down between his knees, looking up into his face. "What is it, Sheldon?"

"I am experiencing some unknown distress and it seems to be…centered in…my loins." Slight gasping breaths that verged on wheezing punctuated his words. She lifted her hand and touched his cheek, wondering if there was an emergency inhaler in the bathroom cabinet and whether she should go get it.

"Sheldon, it's me. What's happening?" she asked concern evident on her face.

He blushed. "It is something that I usually deal with _on my own_, Penny. I do not require assistance." She had never heard that tone of voice from him; it was extremely private and she instinctively knew that he was talking about self-abuse.

"Oh." She backed off, but left her hands on his knees. "Sheldon…." Her voice trailed off as she looked straight ahead and noticed something that she had never seen before. "Sheldon, do you have an erection?"

His face grew even redder and he wanted to crawl away and hide his embarrassment. "Yes, I do, and I do not know why." He brought his knees together and crossed his hands to cover the shameful evidence of his masculinity.

"And you said that you felt hot all over just before, right?" She stood and dug her phone out of her pocket, thumbing through her phone list before letting her finger hover over one particular name.

"I still do; extremely warm. Tingling…in my…in my scrotum. Penny, it is starting to hurt."

"I'm gonna kill Howard," she muttered, then pressed her finger on the screen to call Bernadette.

She picked up almost immediately. "Hey, Penny, what's up?"

Penny was too worried to skirt the issue. "Bernadette, Howard gave Sheldon some pills for his migraine earlier, but now he's having a _much_ localized reaction and I was wondering if you could tell me what to do?"

"Localized where?" Bernadette asked. Surely, Howard wouldn't…

"Tingling in the scrotum, a painful erection, and general feelings of warmth to the point I had to check him for a fever."

"Oh, no, Howard what did you do?!"

"What is it Bernadette?"

"It's an experimental libido enhancer. Penny, I have to warn you, it's a very, very powerful drug. Sheldon won't be able to deal with it. They have it in trials right now, but if the current results are any indication, masturbation does not relieve the situation at all."

"Hold on, Bernadette, I'm going to put you on speakerphone." She did, and then sat down by Sheldon. "Okay, we're both listening. Go ahead."

"First, Sheldon, I'm so sorry."

He groaned, clutching himself through his clothing. "Never mind that, Bernadette. Please, what were those pills?"

"I don't know what he gave you. One of them was for headaches—the trials are going well and it looks like I've come up with a winner."

"Enough. What did your husband give me?"

"Well, it's a new libido enhancer. It works in the genitalia to promote an erection, but also works in the brain to relax the inhibitions that prevent orgasm. It's only supposed to be for the hard cases that have psychological blocks to intercourse. I never meant for Howard to give it to you, Sheldon."

"Understood, now, how long does it take to wear off?" He was starting to rock back and forth and it was causing Penny to worry even more.

"That's just it, Sheldon. The medication attaches to the pleasure sensors in the brain and it doesn't wear off until dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and hormones knock it loose. The only way to get rid of it is to use it."

"Very well, I can take care of it. Penny, you will have to leave…"

"No, Sheldon, you do not understand me. It won't go away with masturbation. In fact, some of the participants of the drug trial have had to have surgery to relieve the pressure. If not, it can lead to impotence and gangrene of the penis."

His eyes grew wide with shock and he folded in on himself even further. "Priapism? Requiring surgical intervention? Oh my, that's not acceptable at all. Not at all."

Penny felt sorry for him. Sorry and more than a bit curious. "So you're saying that unless Sheldon uses it _on_ someone, he will have to go to the hospital for surgery?"

"Yeah, sucks, huh? We're thinking of pulling it."

Penny grimaced at the double-entendre. "Bernadette, you may be a widow before this is over. I'll talk to you later, okay? Please, don't mention this to anyone."

"I won't, Penny. You don't know how much trouble I'll get into if this gets out."

"Not nearly as much as Howard is in, trust me." Penny ended the call and tossed her phone onto the coffee table.

Turning to Sheldon, she said, "Okay, you heard her. Do you want me to call someone? Maybe Amy?"

He looked up at her, horrified by her suggestion. "Heavens no! Amy is a friend, not…not someone that I would do _that_ with."

Penny sat down on the edge of the couch next to him and touched his leg gently. "Sheldon, this won't go away on its own. You have to—participate in coitus. I know that is something that Homo Novus is not accustomed to, but you don't want to lose your genitals because you're too stubborn to do what you have to do to save them. Now, what's it gonna be. Or who, I guess."

"Why not you?"

Her eyes widened comically and she flopped back on the couch, completely flabbergasted by his question. "Clarify, please."

He turned toward her and she could clearly see his erection tenting his pants. It was, in a word, massive. Huge, big, monstrous; she felt some localized throbbing of her own before she tore her eyes away and looked at his face once again.

"Penny, since you moved in, I have been ill approximately seven times with various ailments, mostly migraine headaches. In that time, you have cared for me each time. You know my requirements and preferences and follow them to the letter, whether it concerns my Tuesday barbeque bacon cheeseburger or my tea with honey. You are considerate and kind and I cannot imagine doing…that…with anyone else. I trust you, Penny. You won't laugh or comment and I know that you can maintain confidences. I'm sure that you would agree this would be a major confidence."

She started to smile and he continued. "You have a wide variety of experience due to your history of promiscuity and multiple sexual partners that will be beneficial to the situation since I have only experienced coitus on one other occasion. Therefore, if I were to choose a person to care adequately for something of this nature, it would be you.

Her heart swelled in her chest and she smiled at him wryly. "Thank you, I think. So, how do you want to proceed?"

She licked her lips and looked down at his obvious problem again. "I don't think that the couch is the place to do this."

"I concur. It would be more comfortable if we were in a bed." A panicky look crossed his face and he stuttered to a halt. "We cannot do that in my bed!"

Testing the waters, Penny reached out and touched his hand. Which was very, very close to his tent; the pressure of her hand on his shifted the material of his khakis and he groaned aloud. "Sheldon, its Saturday. You can wash your sheets when we're done."

"Penny, it hurts. I have never had an erection that hurts. That is not normal."

"So let's go take care of it."


	2. Chapter 2

Penny stood and took Sheldon by the hand. She paused by the bathroom door and turned to him. "Do we need to brush our teeth?"

"Penny, I do not believe that my dental hygiene is my primary concern at this time."

She looked down and pulled him toward his room. "Now Sheldon, here's how we're going to do this," she started, walking further into the room to turn around and face him as he closed the door and locked it behind him. "We should start by—"

In two steps, he was standing in front of her. "I know how to start," he stated flatly. He wrapped his long arms around her and brought her body flush with his, his face very close to hers. "An embrace is a good place to start, is it not?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Sheldon? Can I have my arms loose?" She pulled her arms out of the embrace and laid her hands on his biceps. He bent his head and rested his forehead on her shoulder.

She moved one hand to the back of his neck, lightly touching the exposed skin above his clothes. She stroked his neck, allowing him the time to acclimatize to someone rupturing his personal space bubble.

"You okay there, sweetie?"

His voice was muffled and low. "I find myself…at a loss, Penny. I know exactly what needs to be done, the nerves and tissues involved, the mechanics of the act itself, but I do not know where to begin."

She loosened her arms and pulled away from him, then turned him and pushed him down on the bed. He sat there staring up at her and she almost cried at the look of perplexed confusion she could see deep in his eyes. "That's what I'm here for, remember? Arms up." She tugged off his shirts, not bothering to separate them, and then worked the buckle of his belt. She let him unzip and drag his khakis down his legs, his butt barely leaving the bed.

There it was, trapped by tight white cotton; it rode along his hipbone, purpled and angry under the thin cloth. She gasped and reached out to relieve the pressure on the delicate tissue. Sheldon held his breath as she pulled the underpants away from his engorged penis, but whimpered as the pressure eased off. It sprang free, bobbing in the air in front of her and he wanted to coil in on himself again. Her hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Let me, uh, try something."

He was paralyzed as she kneeled before him, reaching out to grasp him in her hand.

Her touch was gentle, yet sure as she stroked him. She put one hand on his side, more as a comforting touch than anything bordering on sexual as her other hand traveled the length of him, ghosting over his skin like a whisper of sensation. It only made him harder, if that was possible, and caused him more pain, which didn't surprise her at all.

"Ok, that's not going to work. I guess a blowjob's out of the question." She started to get up and he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"While I am not opposed to fellatio itself, I would like to osculate before you do that."

"Huh?" She sat back on her heels and stared at him and he leaned forward, staring deep into her eyes.

"I would like to kiss you before you suck on my—"

"Okay, okay, Sheldon, no need to use that language. I think my head will explode if you do. So, you want to kiss, huh? Isn't that a little intimate?"

"Coitus isn't?"

"I'm going to let that slide for now, but remind me that we need to have a _deeeep_ conversation because you obviously didn't read that book we got you." She rose up on her knees and brushed her hand across his forehead, pushing his hair back and threading it through her fingers. "But yeah, I think that a kiss is a good place to start."

She leaned forward slightly and to her surprise, he met her partway. His hands were still flat on the bed and she picked one up and brought it to her side, under her arm. He moved his hand around to the front to cup her breast and she sighed against his lips.

When he buried his face in her hair, she moved her mouth down his throat, rested it on his Adam's apple, and then kissed a path across his shoulder. Her hands fluttered across his chest to tease his nipples, and then back down his sides and into his lap to stroke his taut thighs.

Her mouth was following the same path when she felt the rumble of his voice under her lips. "Normally, I would be shocked at the speed this is occurring, but I find myself extremely impatient for the actual sensation of your mouth on my erection."

She looked up and saw him looking down at her. "Okay, bud, you asked for it." Without further preamble, she slipped her lips over the glans of his penis, her eyes glued to his. She was extremely gratified to see his eyes roll back in his head before he fell back on the bed.

Oral sex was one of Penny's fortes and a bulletproof turn-on for her. She could feel her panties getting wet as she tongued the vein that ran up the bottom of his penis and swirled it over the top of the glans before engulfing it in her mouth and taking it in as far as she could. She swallowed, more to repress her gag reflex than anything else, then took a deep breath and pressed in, sucking slightly as she pulled back.

She felt something slither against her thigh and opened her eyes to see the comforter moving next to her. He was gripping it with both hands, dragging it up as he tried to control himself.

She pulled her mouth off his penis with a pop. "Sheldon, the whole point of this is for you to ejaculate." She thought it would be more palatable if she used his language.

"Penny." He paused as she rubbed her cheek against the erection still in her hand. "While the sensations are pleasurable without a doubt, I do not believe that it will relieve the immense pain that I am experiencing. I am afraid that Bernadette was correct in her assumptions that only penetrative coitus will provide the relief that I need so desperately."

"All righty then," She stood and stripped off her shirt and shorts, tossed them on the floor, and straddled his legs.

She hovered over him, her breasts dragging across his chest. His sparse hair tickled her nipples as she moved up to graze her mouth over his. "You know, Sheldon, I'm glad it's me," she said, and then she grasped him in her hand and let him slide home.

She stopped moving as soon as he hit bottom, her eyes meeting his in fleeting shock as they both adjusted to sensations neither one had felt before. He let go of the comforter and grabbed her hips in his hands, pulling her down farther until their hips met at the perfect angle for her pleasure as well as his.

She braced her hands against his chest and began to move in slow, measured circles, barely rising and falling as they undulated together. His feet were still flat on the floor and gave him the leverage needed for him to push into her, obeying the most primal urges.

Penny decided to make the best of a questionable situation and threw her head back, moaning aloud.

Sheldon opened his eyes, though he could not remember closing them, and looked at the vision of loveliness above him. His memory would never be the same after seeing this; he had imagined such as this in his wildest fantasies on hot summery nights when he could hear her doing the same to Leonard. Her hair drifting over her shoulder, the thin sheen of sweat that pooled between her breasts, her softly parted lips all imprinted on his mind and he could not deny that this was meant to happen for a reason.

His hand dragged up her side to cup her pert, bouncing breast. She grabbed it and pressed it harder against her skin, her hand sliding down his arm and reaching for his shoulder. Leaning forward, she pressed her mouth against his and he slipped his tongue between her lips, exploring unknown territory. Her gravitational force had finally sucked him in, her body hotter than the center of a dwarf star around him, pressing and molding him to new form and new heights.

He didn't know if it was the drug acting on his brain or if it was just her (if he were to be honest with himself, it had always been her). From the moment his eyes glanced over her, he had craved this without knowing it. He hungered for her; the skin hunger alone was driving him mad and he began stroking every inch of skin that was reachable, which was considerable with his long arms. He moved his hands from hip to breast, trying to hold and grab at all of her as she moved in and out of reach. He could not touch her enough it seemed and his fingers depressed her flesh as he tried to keep her within his grasp….

He only knew something was wrong when she grabbed at his hands. "Sheldon, are you okay?"

His voice was shaky when he answered. "Penny, I am not myself. Something is very wrong with me. My mind—I have horrible thoughts runnin' through my head and I cain't seem to control it." His voice took on a distinctive twang and Penny throbbed at the sound, forcing a moan out of Sheldon.

She flattened her hands on his chest. "Sheldon, look at me. Look in my eyes."

He opened his eyes and looked into hers and what they held made his heart stutter in his chest. They held such compassion and caring for him and sadness that he was had to deal with an embarrassing situation like this. He saw a flicker of anger at Howard and disappointment in Leonard—how he knew that, he was not certain. Then she smiled and he saw desire and need hidden there as well, along with a glimmer of…hope? Love? He couldn't be sure.

It was almost too much for him to bear and he started to look away. She held him in place with one hand to his chin. "Sheldon, you are not going to hurt me. It isn't in your nature to hurt anyone. You just got this look on your face like you were terrified and it made me think of your 'kill batman' smile."

"All I could think was how much I wanted to touch your skin and then I could not stop touching you. It frightened me and I attribute much of it to the drug. Bernadette did say that it worked in the brain as much as the genitalia."

"It makes sense. Didn't she say that it lowers the inhibitions? And you've never been one to touch anyone, so of course you have skin hunger. You need touch to survive, Sheldon.

He didn't answer, so she decided to try another tactic. "Would you like to change position? I'm flexible, remember?" Penny leaned up and shimmied her hips slightly. "I know this is good, but you might want to be in control. It might…satisfy the needs brought on by the drugs."

"I believe that you may have a valid hypothesis, Penny." He spread his legs and locked their knees before flipping her exactly ninety degrees, orienting them with the head of the bed. He looked down at the surprise on her face and gave her one of his patented smirks. "When you know physics, you know how to move the world."

"Yeah, you're sure rockin' my world today, Sheldon." She reached up and pulled him down to devour him with her mouth.

Her kiss sent a shiver down his spine and into his dorsal root ganglia, directly to the root of his penis. He could feel himself swelling inside her and before he could speak, he was ejaculating. They had not moved since he flipped them; his orgasm was inexplicable and spontaneous and shocked them both.

Penny didn't seem concerned. "We'll need a towel, Sheldon." He didn't move. She shoved at his shoulder and patted him on the back. "It's okay, honey, it happens. At least you're not medicated anymore, right? Did that take care of it?"

"No."

His voice was muffled in her shoulder and she had to strain to hear him. "I'm sorry, sugar, what did you say?"

"It didn't help, Penny. I'm still hard and it still hurts."

He moved and she could tell he was telling the truth.

Once he started moving, he couldn't stop. She was gripping him tightly with every thrust into her body and he found himself speeding up slowly and driving wildly into her, deeper and deeper until they were practically bouncing off the mattress. She clutched at him with her hands and feet, keeping them grounded on the bed as he jostled her like a maniac, overcome by the drugs coursing through his veins.

She felt the spiraling beginnings of her orgasm building and grabbed his face, pressing her mouth over his skin. He pulled away from her hands and dipped his head to capture one of her nipples in his mouth, letting their momentum pull and tug as he thrust against her welcoming flesh vigorously.

She arched into him and came, screaming his name into the crook of his neck. Her nails scrabbled for purchase on his sweat-slickened back as the constant pulse of ecstasy ran from her head down to her toes, forcing them to curl into the comforter then spasm outward. She went limp, then arched again as a second, more intense jolt of pleasure made her clamp around him in a vise-like grip, holding him practically immobile until she fell back on the bed, panting and spent.

And he was still hard.

He drew himself onto his knees, his erection withdrawing from Penny with a deep sucking sound that made him wince. He pulled her up to meet him, his mouth slanting over hers for only a moment before he moved her onto her hands and knees.

He looked down and smiled a terrible smile. He really was an ass man. Slowly and gently, he prodded her from behind and she reached beneath her to guide him into the right place—no need for anything else right now. Hopefully not. Oh my god, what if…she refused to think about it.

He spread his over-large hands over both cheeks of her well-rounded buttocks and watched distantly as he slid in and out of her slick vagina. It fascinated him, the simple piston action of sex that caused so much pleasure for them both; he had imagined it as being more than this—more fluids, more germs, more mess. Instead, it was just him, Penny, and Penny's fluids, which really didn't bother him for some reason.

She went from her hands and knees to gripping the top of the headboard. She turned and pulled his head toward her with one arm and he tasted the sweat from the side of her neck and down to her shoulder. She was salty sweet beneath his tongue and sent a familiar shiver down his spine. He came again without ejaculating, his shuddering breath hot on her neck as he stuttered her name into her hair.

She encouraged him to keep moving; she didn't know how she would walk tomorrow, but today it wasn't about that, it was about helping him. _Yeah, Penny, keep telling yourself that_, she thought.

It had crossed her mind more than once that had she known he was such a wizard in bed, she would have slipped him a few drugs of her own. Well, if she had access to them. And if it wasn't completely wrong. Howard was so going to die for this.

Or she would. The jury was still out.

She wondered if anyone had ever been fucked to death.

She wondered if it would scar Sheldon if he fucked her to death. She wondered what her funeral would be like—how would they describe it in the eulogy. Maybe they would just say that she died with a smile on her face and her legs locked open.

And oh my good lord, she was coming again.

She flopped her face down on the bed and let the waves wash over her, too limp to scream this time. She could feel him still moving inside her, hard, hot, and deeper than she thought she could handle. He was nudging something inside her that felt so good it almost hurt, but she wouldn't tell him to stop.

As long as he could dish it out, she could take it. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that too, Penny._

Her body seemed to reach a point where she was lush and lax and swollen, accepting his rutting without protesting the intrusion. She arched her back and stretched cat-like beneath him, and then she turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder.

"Can I lie back down again? I want to try something else."

He disengaged from her long enough to let her reposition herself beneath him, and then he pushed into her again, not moving for a moment. She drew his head down to her breast and pressed it there, caressing his shoulders and back with her hand.

"Now, start moving, but don't open your eyes. Just listen to the sound of my voice."

He nodded, so far beyond that he could barely control it any longer. He wanted, no, needed to orgasm in the worst way but he couldn't seem to let himself go far enough to leap off the peak.

Then she started talking.

"I should have known that your beautiful mind couldn't let loose enough to come without something more. Do you know that I love your whiteboards, Dr. Cooper? When you have one brimming full of numbers and symbols, I just stand in front of it and marvel at how elegant and beautiful they are. Your equations are like music for physicists, Sheldon. They sing, don't they? The numbers dance and dosido, pavane and waltz and you are their master conductor, making them do whatever you want them to do. You will find the answer to string theory, Sheldon, I'm certain of it. Just as you'll win the Nobel Prize for Physics when you do; you'll go to CERN and discover the Higgs Boson particle and be famous for finding the answer to the Grand Unified Theory."

His orgasm began building, not only in his gut but also in his mind. He could picture it in his head, the pinnacle of his success, his Nobel in his hands and Penny by his side as he accepted the highest accolade for his work that he could ever receive.

Still she went on.

"I love to hear you talk about science, Sheldon. The passion in your voice sends shivers down my spine. It thrills me that there is something that is so beautiful and intriguing for you that it captures your every waking minute. It makes me happy that you're happy with your numbers and symbols and math that I may never understand but I'll always appreciate because it's part of you. We've become such good friends and now more and I know that physics and numbers will always be your first mistress and that's okay. It's part of you. You are purely genius, Dr. Cooper. Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, PhD, PhD, MA, ScD, my beautiful mind genius guy. Come for me, Sheldon. Let me feel you become one with the cosmos. Come for me."

He could feel it rising from his toes, building to a point that he was sure would make him faint with the loss of blood to his brain, but still he climbed, higher and higher until the entirety of the universe danced with him on a whiteboard in his mind where he was nothing but another number, another variable in the great equation that was life on the planet. He danced, Penny danced, they danced with the atoms as they joined in the most primal sense and he could feel the greatness of the universe shrink down to the least common denominator, the singularity, the atom where it all began.

The God Particle personified.

Then Penny did something that he never expected. She bent her head and whispered in his ear. "Solve for _x_," she said, reaching around to press her fingers against his perineum.

He threw his head back, his eyes blind in the overwhelming sensation of orgasm and Sheldon saw the big bang.

He could actually picture it in his mind at that moment. The collapse of matter _into_ matter; the combination of atoms into a dangerous swirling chaotic mass that swelled from within to produce an explosion of such a magnitude that the entire universe was created and destroyed in its wake. The alpha and omega, beginning and end in a vortex where there was only him and Penny and he could not tell where she ended and he began and it was overcoming his senses until he could not move any more.

He collapsed onto her, his breathing harsh once again. He distantly realized that she was panting into his ear as well, having orgasmed again herself and he leaned up on his elbows to push her hair back from her face.

"Better?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes. Yes. Penny, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I saw it. I saw the answers. So many answers, I saw them. You helped me see them." He talked as he breathed, harsh and staccato in the relative silence of the apartment.

She threw her arms around his neck and brought him closer to her. "Oh no, Sheldon, thank you, that was memorable."

"I believe that I am sufficiently recovered to withdraw from you without incident. Do you wish to shower?"

She looked down at them both. "I think that we both need a shower. Maybe something to drink too, and a nap, oh my God I want a nap."

"I concur, shower and beverages, then a nap." He stood and pulled out a robe, pulling it over his nakedness before reaching back into the closet and pulling out a second robe. He extended it to her and she stared back at him in shock.

"You cannot wander in my apartment naked, Penny. No matter what has happened between us. That is just unsanitary."

She knew better than to ask questions, so she took the robe and donned it quickly. He led her to the bathroom and started the shower for her, then left the room. A little disappointed, she climbed into the shower and lathered up.

He surprised her a moment later when he returned with two bottles of water, setting them on the bathroom countertop. He removed his robe and folded it neatly, then climbed into the shower behind her, crowding her closer to the nozzle to get his own body wet.

She looked down at his flaccid penis. "Does it hurt?" she asked. He almost looked chafed, though the angry purpling had diminished significantly from the first time she saw it.

"Superficially, I can understand why our friends chase the dragon, so to speak, and constantly attempt to satisfy those biological urges. That was fascinating, Penny."

"Oh, you think so? It was…meh."

"Pardon me? Who was screaming my name repeatedly?"

"Well yeah, I guess. If you want to quantify something like that by screaming; you didn't say much of anything, so it must not have been good for you."

"Penny, I am not an ordinary man. I am not about to flail around screaming like a meemee during coitus. That's just uncivilized."

"Yeah, okay." She poked him in the ribs when he closed his eyes to rinse his hair. "And what's up with you jumping in the shower with me? Who are you and should I look under your bed for a pod?"

"Penny, it is doubtful that you will find a pod under the bed. It is more likely to be hidden in the closet."

"Aha! Your secret is out, pod-Sheldon."

He rinsed off and shut off the water, then reached out and grabbed each of them a towel. "Penny, we have experienced coitus together. We have crossed a line of intimacy that we cannot uncross. I have noticed in the past that it is not unusual for people of the opposite sex to share a shower post-coitus, therefore I showered with you."

He dried off, then took her towel and tossed it into the hamper labeled Sheldon. "And, if I remain at your side, you cannot look in my closet and find my pod."

She chased him back into the bedroom, her borrowed robe in her hand. Once there, they fell into his bed like puppies, his inhibitions still on vacation, and they fell asleep spooned with his front to her back.


	3. Chapter 3

Noises in the apartment outside his room woke them from their nap. It had grown dark outside as they slept and the room was washed in the light from the streetlamp outside Sheldon's window. Penny was glad that she insisted that he lock the door before they went to sleep; she couldn't imagine the terrible trio's face if they saw them in here, spooning naked in Sheldon's bed.

She turned onto her back to find him looking at her. His eyes were huge in the dark, his irises barely visible around his dilated pupils. "Penny," he whispered.

"Sheldon," she whispered back.

"I was dreaming of an altered paradigm between us, and then I woke to find you here in my bed, naked. Is there something that I should be made aware?"

She nearly cried. "You don't remember?"

"I remember something. Coitus? Yes, we had coitus."

"Yes."

"It was Howard's fault."

"Yes."

"Penny." His eyes widened, almost comically. "I remember. It just took a moment, The Higgs Boson."

"Yes, Sheldon, the Higgs Boson."

"I need a whiteboard."

She climbed out of the bed and slipped his robe on and he remembered giving that to her to wear. She actually swam in it, it was so large on her, but it was also charming in its own way. She belted it tightly around her waist and ran her fingers through her hair. "God, I must look like a sight."

"You are always quite aesthetically pleasing, Penny."

She turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Sheldon, thank you. You know, I thought that we knew each other before, but now I know that there are sides to you that have yet to be discovered."

"As do you, Penny. Now, we must get a whiteboard out of the living room and several colors of markers. In fact, I need _all_ my whiteboards."

They were talking excitedly as they walked into the living room, ignoring the shocked stares from the three faces in front of the television set. Leonard finally caught their attention when he yelled their names. "Sheldon! Penny! What the fuck is going on here?"

Sheldon glared. "There is no need for profanity, Leonard."

Penny, on the other hand, handled it differently. She walked up to Howard and slapped him across the face with her open hand. She then reached out and hugged him with all her strength. "If I didn't love Bernadette so much, I would kill you where you stand, but your idiocy may have helped Sheldon with a major breakthrough, so thank you."

"But—what—how—" Leonard could not get his words out in a coherent sentence. His roommate and his ex-girlfriend were naked and wearing his roommate's robes, looking like they had been involved in carnal activities all afternoon and now talking about breakthroughs and Nobels and Higgs Boson particles as they carried whiteboard after whiteboard across the hall to Penny's apartment. Penny came back for a moment to grab bottle water from the fridge and the box of markers from Sheldon's supply in the bottom drawer of his desk, never turning to look at them or even speak to them.

When did the universe suffer this massive shift? Where was he?

He turned to Howard, his face unsettled. "We are still in the same dimension, aren't we?"

"You know, buddy, I don't know. I just don't know."

He started across the hall and heard a thud against the door of Penny's apartment, quickly followed by a female's moan. "Oh, Sheldon."

Shaking his head, he turned and went back to his own apartment. Maybe if he went to bed, the world would right itself. He couldn't help the selfish hope that crawled under his skin for a split second, then his shoulders slumped and he dragged himself back inside, closing the door behind him to shut out the sex noises from across the hall.

Nope, he just could not catch a break, no matter what universe he was in.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

They set the whiteboards up in a perfect half-circle, surrounding the couch and kitchen island. Sheldon stared at them for a moment, and then turned to look at Penny where she stood just inside the door. She had set the bottled water on the coffee table; she stood just against the door, one hand on the doorknob and the other shoved deep in his spare Saturday robe pocket. Her hair was a shambles from sleep and his own hand and her lips were swollen and chapped from their previous carnal activities. He thought she never looked more fetching, lovelier than she did at this moment.

Her mouth twitched and she took a step toward him. "Sheldon, what is it? Is everything okay?"

He was in front of her in two long strides, pressing her against the door without touching her. He planted his hands beside her on the frame and bent his head to whisper in her ear. "Perhaps the drugs are still running rampant through my body. I was just thinking how beautiful you looked right now. Is that a normal male reaction to a sexual partner?"

"Sheldon, are you…sniffing me?" Penny turned her head slightly and her cheek brushed against his. He had the slightest of stubble roughening his cheek and she inhaled his scent, cleanly masculine, before touching his jaw with her tongue, enjoying his salty tang.

"Penny," he whispered. "You smell like apple blossoms."

"Yes, you asked me about that earlier. It was in one of the baskets that you gave me…"

He bent his head. "You used to smell like vanilla." He said the words against her ear, his hot breath sending shivers of desire down her spine.

"You didn't give me anything vanilla," she said, her mouth brushing the spot just below his ear. She moved her mouth a fraction of an inch and touched her lips to his earlobe, rubbing it with her tongue. "I only wear what you bought for me."

She reached out and held him in place with her hand on his other cheek. "You know you've always been special to me, Sheldon." She reached out and nibbled the lobe slightly, ready for him to back away.

He surprised her by turning his head and capturing her still-open mouth with his own. She felt him pushing his tongue against her lips and opened her mouth to feel it slip in and her mind blanked for a moment, then they were grasping for one another with a breathless passion. Her head hit the door and she moaned, "Oh, Sheldon," before he caught her up against him, dragging her into the center of the whiteboards.

With their faces still attached to one another's, Sheldon picked up a marker and flipped off the cap, then started writing.

Penny stopped kissing him long enough to turn her head and look at what he was doing. The minute she broke away, he stopped writing and looked at the formula that he had scribbled, and then looked back at Penny.

She looked up at him from the curve of his arm. His hand was on her hip, cupping her buttock, her hand behind his back and resting on the top of his shoulder. Her other hand was inside his robe, stroking his chest. "Sheldon?"

He looked at her and her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen his eyes so alight, so intense with concentration and brilliance; her heart filliped in her chest and she wished that he would look at her like that—like she was the most important, precious thing in the entire universe.

"Penny, I must confess to you that I'm torn. It seems that at this moment, my clearest thoughts are occurring when you and I are engaged in kissing. I believe that this is quite unfair to you. It is my understanding that one should completely engage oneself with one's partner and that is not possible if I were to—"

"Sheldon, are you trying to say that you can only think when we're kissing?"

"Right now at this moment, I believe that it is from the drugs and they have not worn off as we supposed they had and perhaps this is another side effect, the sensation of excess and I cannot seem to cease speaking—"

Penny shut him up by kissing him again. "Sheldon, if we need to kiss the entire time that you are writing, we're gonna need some chap stick."

She dragged her arm out from under him and made him drink a bottle of water, slurping her own down as she grabbed her lip balm out of the bedside table. She slathered her lips, then his, capped it and tossed it on the coffee table next to the empty bottles.

She walked over and stood next to the first whiteboard. "Shall we begin, Dr. Cooper?"

* * *

Three hours later, he was still writing. Symbols, numbers, formulas appeared like magic from the end of the black marker and Penny watched him from over his shoulder. She sat on a stool behind him, her arms around his shoulders and her legs spread wide for him to stand between her knees. Together, they had kept a steady stream of heady, passionate kisses and light caresses, allowing him to work while still in contact with her.

They both ignored, for the most part, the erection that protruded from the slit in his robe. Or the fact that, in their current position, Penny's nipples stroked his back as she touched his chest and shoulders, or his legs brushing against the soft skin of her inner thighs.

The ripple of the muscles of his back was doing something for her, though, and she relished the sensations as another board filled and he started to move on to the next.

She climbed down off the stool and left it where it was, moving to stand in front of him. She peppered his chest with kisses and his marker fairly flew across the expanse of white. She licked up his throat to the tip of his chin and he tossed the marker aside and left a black mark on the pristine board next to it.

"Penny, I need—"

"I see." She got to her knees in front of him and reached over to pick up the marker. "See how far you can get before you have to stop."

She took him in her mouth and his knees started to buckle before he locked them in place. He raised his marker and she slowly let him slide out of her mouth before dipping her head again, grabbing his thighs to hold him still. He shuffled to the left; she shuffled with him, never breaking her stroke. She really did love to do this.

He got a third of the way through the next board before he tossed the marker away again and reached down to pull her to her feet by the upper arms. "You are a vixen," he growled, and then he hoisted her onto the countertop and thrust inside her wet and swollen passage.

"Penny, Penny, Penny. What is it about your sex that makes a man forget his purpose? All I can think of is inserting my penis deep inside you and making you scream—is that normal? Is this still the drug, or is this what men are supposed to feel?"

"Guh—Sheldon, I don't know." She brought her knees up to grip his hips, opening her legs wider for him and pulling him deeper with her heels against his ass. "Kind of liking it over here."

"I am enjoying it too, Penny." He cupped her shoulders with his hands and slowed down until he was barely moving. "I have to tell you something, Penny."

"Ah, anything, Sheldon. Right now you could tell me anything." Her eyes were closed and she opened them to see him hovering above her, his face very serious.

"Penny, I—I am unaware of any continuing effects of the drugs at this time. I want to—let you know—this is because of you, not some mythical side effects of an unknown pill foisted upon me by my erstwhile friend."

"So this is all you? Not the stuff Howard gave you, but because you want to?"

He arched his hips and she was pinned in place. "I have always wanted to, Penny."

She stared up at him, her mouth hanging open as she processed the information. "Always, Sheldon? How long is always?"

He began moving slowly, easily, his hips twisting slightly to put pressure on her clitoris with every stroke. "I looked up and saw you framed in the doorway. You looked me in the eye and I had an immediate visceral response. When you admired my equations and chose my spot to sit on, I was even more intrigued by you. You are the only woman that I have ever met that evoked that type of feeling in me."

She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. "Sheldon, that was the day we met."

"As I said, Penny—always."

She arched her neck and pulled him down to meet her, her mouth devouring him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her up to sit on the edge of the island, her feet locking behind his back and her hands resting on his shoulders. His hips moved with the rhythm of his heart and she moved with him, her hips writhing as her hands encouraged, touching and stroking him where she could reach.

He practically had to tear his mouth away to catch his breath as she left a trail of kisses down his neck to nibble on his Adam's apple. "I saw you first," she said, her fingers brushing against his nipples and stroking through the sparse hair on his chest. Counter-clockwise, he noticed.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "What do you mean?"

"You were standing outside the door with Leonard. When I looked up and saw you, I saw you first. I looked at your whiteboard first. I chose your spot because it was the best. It was you first."

"Oh, Penny." He raked her shoulder with his teeth when she hit a particularly sensitive spot on his chest. "I find…I want to hear…such inappropriate words…your voice…."

"So you like it when I talk, huh? Yeah, I can't talk science all the time, but I can talk dirty, would you like that?" She felt him nod and she scratched at his sides, putting her mouth right next to his ear.

"I love the feeling of your cock, Sheldon. I love how hard and huge it is, how hot it feels inside me. The way it feels when it touches me deep inside—nobody has ever filled me up like you have, lover."

"Am I your lover?" His voice was muffled against her throat, his mouth tracing patterns on her skin. Symbols, numbers on his own personal board created of her body, his tongue a marker.

"Yessss," she hissed as he sharply thrust inside her. "Yes, Sheldon, you are my lover. For tonight or forever, that's up to you."

Her words seemed to ignite him. He raised his head and looked down at her with the same intensity as one of his boards and he ground out between his clenched teeth, "We need to take this into your bedroom."

She released him and they practically ran, hand in hand, to jump on her bed before they were locked in an embrace once again, still on their knees. She was surprised that he ignored the general chaos of the room and the unmade bed; his eyes were filled with her and only her and she nearly quailed under their intense scrutiny when she pulled back to lie down on the bed.

She held out her hand and spread her legs and he was hovering over her in a flash, his body millimeters from hers. She could feel the heat rising off his skin, the smell of sex and attraction and need swirling around them in a vortex that sucked all the air from the room. A line from a song ran through her mind about a tornado and a volcano and she wondered which one of them were which. Life with him would never be boring (and later, she would remember this thought and subsequent thoughts and wonder if she was actually clairvoyant and he would tell her what hokum he thought it was that she even believed in ESP).

She waited, barely breathing, he stared into her eyes, barely breathing, then his hips plunged forward and she pushed into him and the spiraling tension wound them both even tighter. She honestly couldn't say if it was the angle, his height, the leverage, the technique, God only knew what made it perfect but it was in every way. She could imagine falling in love with him, spending her days and nights in his arms and forever feeling this close to the stars. If she were honest, she almost felt a little in love with him before this happened, but sex blurred her lines and always had.

They moved in sync, her moans harmonizing with his harsh breathing. "Penny, talk to me," he asked, his eyes falling to her lips.

"Oh, Sheldon. Sheldon, this—this feels—this feels so right. I can't—I can't—so close. So close I can't think. Can't think to talk. God, Sheldon, fuck me. Harder, baby, harder."

His hands were vice grips on her hips, pulling her to meet him halfway as he rammed his pelvis into hers. Incoherent words were erupting from her lips as she came apart, her body jerking as she reached her peak. Her vagina pulsed around him and he felt himself coming, riding the wave of her orgasm and joining her with his own.

He fell on her, panting and spent, his mouth resting on her right shoulder. "I should have done this years ago."

She turned her head to look at him. "What?"

He propped himself over her, leaning off to her right. "We should have had coitus years ago. When you injured your shoulder. You were very affectionate that night when you were medicated. You kept touching me and I did not understand why."

She giggled and made him frown. "Why are you laughing?"

"That was a strange non-sequiter. Yes, we should have, but when I dislocated my shoulder, you were still standoffish and it would have made your head blow up if I would have seduced you."

He reached out and touched her cheek, and then he moved his hips to withdraw from her, realizing they were still joined together though he had become flaccid. He looked down and noticed that they were still dressed in his robes. Somehow, it really didn't seem to matter—there was something more pressing.

"I am experiencing a mental clarity right now that eluded me earlier. I need to complete the theorem that I started—will that be an acceptable action at this juncture, Penny?"

"Oh, sweetie, you don't have to ask me if you can work. That's what you do—think—and I won't ever stand in the way of that."

She climbed off the bed, and then grabbed his hand. "I'm gonna rustle up some grub. You work."

He followed her obediently and took up his marker as she moved around in the kitchen next to him. Within a few minutes, he smelled spaghetti sauce and looked over to find her cooking his favorite meal. She was wearing plastic gloves and cutting hot dogs into pennies before adding them to the sauce.

It almost made him want to take her into his arms again. Almost.

He turned back to the board, scribbled a little bit more, then stood back and read the equations as they were written from beginning to end. He folded his arms and a smile split his face and she turned and caught it, let it warm her for a minute before she went to put her hand on his arm. "Want some spaghetti?"

"Yes, please." She handed him a plate and he dished himself a hearty portion before standing at the island, looking at the boards and eating his spaghetti with hot dogs. She paused and stared at him, so relaxed and comfortable that he could stand there, eating, and she had to wonder once again if the drugs were still affecting him. This was Sheldon Lee Cooper, OCD extraordinaire, and to see him behaving so human was almost anathema.

She moved the stool and sat down near him, not wanting to block his view but still needing to be close to him. "Sheldon, can I ask you something?"

"You can, but will you?"

"Oh, be serious. Okay, _may_ I ask you something. You're acting so different. What gives?"

He turned his gaze to sweep from her head to her toes. "I am sure that this is just the post-coital contentment. However, Penny, I do feel different. I believe that you would call this relaxed. I don't feel pressured or rigid like I usually do. I don't feel any of my normal phobias or compulsions coming into play. I am not sure if this is directly due to coitus or the variety of drugs I ingested, although I would imagine that they are completely metabolized by this late hour. No, I feel—incredible."

"Could it be? Was that romp what the doctor ordered?"

She giggled at the look on his face. "What doctor would give a prescription for coitus such as that? I have never made the acquaintance of a doctor who would even suggest such a thing."

"Maybe you should have, Sheldon." She leaned forward, suddenly serious. "It's far too early to call Bernadette, but we need to ask her a bit more about these drugs. Maybe taking the two of them together altered your personality."

He tapped his finger on his lips, and then poked it in the air. "I daresay that you may be right about that, Penny. But I must ask for my own personal gratification—would that be a bad thing?"

She stood up and moved around to wrap her arms around his shoulders, pressing her cheek to his bicep. "I liked you just the way you were, Sheldon, quirks and all. I might have called you whack-a-doodle a couple of times, but that was part and parcel of what made you unique. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing right now. It predicates on how you act in other situations too, not just with me."

"Hmm. I will have to ponder this, Penny. Meanwhile, I suggest that we attempt to attain at least a modicum of REM sleep until we can talk to Bernadette." He took her by the shoulders and led her to her bedroom. She stared openly as he shed his robe and laid it over the end of the bed, crawled between the sheets, and held the blankets open for her to enter behind him.

He saw her standing there staring and patted the bed next to him. "Please, Penny, lay with me and I will endeavor to explain what I perceive is disbelief on your part, correct?"

She crawled in the bed with him and he wrapped her up in his arms, pillowing her head on his shoulder and pressing his cheek to the side of her face. "You see, Penny, I cannot be certain that this laissez-faire attitude will last. Tonight, I will live like a hippie and sleep with you naked in my arms in the chaotic entropy that you call your room. If I wake tomorrow and I am returned to my norm, I will still have this night to remember."

Her hand came up to cover her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. "You know, Sheldon, we both said a lot of things tonight when we…well, I just wanted you to know that I meant every word. I really did."

His thumb stroked her cheek as he looked down at her. "As did I, Penny. If this would not have happened, if Howard had selected to keep the sexual enhancer for himself, you might have never known anything of my initial impressions, but I would not change one thing about today. It led me to heights that I could not have imagined, assisted me in my work, and brought me immense pleasure that would have been less satisfying had it not been with you."

She snuggled into his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her cheek. "Aw, baby, you say such sweet things."

He started to reply but felt her grow lax in his arms as she dropped off to sleep. He tried to remain awake, to bask in the glow of feeling that surrounded him, but in the end, his eyes closed as his body surrendered to the pull of exhaustion. His last conscious thought was a silent prayer to whatever deity existed that he would not lose these feelings to the strict, controlling rigidity that had accursed him his entire life.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

_OMG, breaking my own rule-I've had this on the laptop since the first three chapters (and yes, four too) were written, but I was too nervouse to post it until now, and you will see why. Please, enjoy. _

* * *

Ever since Penny had found out that Sheldon had an eidetic memory (and yes, she really could pronounce it—she screwed it up on purpose) she thought that it was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because every good memory could be taken out and examined, relived in every detail, and perused from any angle. Every conversation could be analyzed for nuance, tone, and motivation; it would be an actor's dream, to be able to study people that deeply.

On the other side of the coin, though, you would have to revisit each heartache and disappointment. Pain would become your shadow, as every slight snub would be there to haunt your every move. It was a wonder the man remained sane; betrayal, such as that perpetrated by Leonard, Howard, and Raj in the Arctic, would drive a lesser man over the edge.

Sheldon's mind had been honed and sharpened by years of well-established habits. It woke, as it always had, at six-fifteen sharp. He opened his eyes and sat straight up in bed, though he was able to prevent himself from yelling danger aloud.

His mouth felt gummy, his body was sticky with sweat and sex and he was stark naked. Of course, he remembered how he came to be in this position, but it shocked him nevertheless.

His well-oiled clockwork mind told him to hurry and run to the shower. He turned and looked down at the blonde who was laying on her stomach, her hair pulled to one side over her shoulder exposing the back of her neck and the love bite he had given her there (at one point or another yesterday; he couldn't really remember when he'd done it but he must have) and he mentally hit the snooze button, choosing to curl around his lover and press his mouth to the base of her skull.

Penny roused under his kiss, rolling onto her side to look over her shoulder. "Sheldon? What time is it?"

"Early. Go back to sleep—it is not eleven o'clock yet."

She pouted, already halfway dozing. "Don't wanna. You okay?"

"I believe I am optimum at this time, Penny. I am in need of a shower and dental care but other than that, I am…fine."

She turned over onto her back and reached out to touch his face. "Sheldon, what are you saying?"

He didn't flinch away from her; on the contrary, he pressed his rough cheek into her palm and relished in the sensation of her touch. "I need a shower. I need a toothbrush. However, I do not feel a compulsion to run and scrub down, as I am certain I would have before. I am experiencing feelings of pride because of a love bite on the back of your neck. I am hopeful that we can repeat our carnal activities because I truly enjoyed them and I would like to do them again. I would also like to try some other things that I have read about in graphic novels. I should be hungry, but I find I'm still satiated from the spaghetti with hot dogs that we ate approximately two hours ago. I am anticipating the conflict that will certainly ensue when we next see Leonard—I think that it is high time that homunculus discovered how an alpha male behaves not only toward another male, but also towards women in general. I could go on, but I am certain that you understand, Penny."

As he spoke, she woke just a little bit further until she was wide-eyed and leaning up on her arm to get a good look at his face. He seemed to be normal….

"I think I do. You aren't feeling that overwhelming need to scrub yourself raw to get rid of the germs?"

"Yes, I suppose that is one way to put it."

"And the rest?"

"Interesting thoughts that I expressed as they came to me. Perhaps a small amount of wishful thinking." He stood up and wrapped himself in his robe, appearing disinterested that it was his Friday robe and it was well into Sunday. The old Sheldon would have had a conniption fit at the thought of missing laundry night, but now—now she could swear that he was almost pleased that he was still wearing the same robe he grabbed unthinkingly out of the closet.

She climbed to her knees, the sheets pooling around her waist, and he paused, stopping to admire her beauty before continuing around the bed to catch her up in his arms. "Come, Penny, I'm sure that this will be a confrontation to remember."

She grabbed his robe and threw it on, following him to the door before she realized exactly what he planned on doing. She grabbed his arm and dug her heels into the carpet, halting him before he threw the door open. "Wait just a gosh-darn minute, Sheldon. You can't just go over there and rub this in his face like that. Let me shower and dress, or go over and do your thing and I'll do mine and we'll meet in about half an hour."

He looked down at her, her eyes begging him not to behave rashly and he found he must agree and do as she asked. His proposed action could be seen as aggressive and a physical fight was not on his agenda at all. He wanted to lance the pustules of negative feelings that he held deep inside the recesses of his mind—every slight, every hurt, the betrayal, everything that Leonard had done to hinder and hold him back.

"I will shower at my apartment and meet you there in thirty minutes. Please be there promptly, although I am aware of your propensity for long showers."

"Thirty minutes. Right." She took a chance and reached up, dragging him down to plant a kiss right on his mouth and he reached around her to pull her closer to him, if only for a moment. Just as quickly, he was gone and she was left staring at the door as it closed behind him. Thirty minutes. She could do that, right?

* * *

He opened the door to his apartment; it had obviously been left unlocked all night. Howard was stretched out on the couch and Raj was curled up in the armchair with Sheldon's afghan off the back of the couch. He moved elegantly through the living room to his bedroom without rousing them or Leonard, who he assumed was still asleep in his room. He gathered his clothes and took them into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him.

For the first time _ever_, his shower didn't scald his skin when he stepped into the spray. He rushed through his normal routine, mindful that Penny would be there in a few minutes and he did not want to expose her to the crass commentary Howard would surely provide. He stepped out and toweled off, dressed quickly, then shaved, all the while thinking about what he would say to the three of them.

He emerged from the bathroom just as Penny opened the front door. She paused just inside the frame, catching his eye, and he couldn't help himself; he strode across the room quickly and took her hand. Leaning close, he whispered in her ear. "I thought of you in the shower."

"Well, isn't this fucking cozy?"

Leonard's flat tone broke through the early morning silence, startling Raj and Howard awake. Leonard stomped into the kitchen in his sock feet, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his robe. His eyes were swollen and mere slits in his face as he looked at the two of them standing in the open doorway. "At least you don't look like you just got done fucking each other's brains out."

"No, Leonard, we did that last night," Sheldon said.

"And you can thank Howard—he's the one that gave Sheldon the experimental drug that caused the whole thing to begin with," Penny added.

Leonard turned to Howard. Howard faked innocence for only a moment, then spread his hands and shrugged his shoulders. "I thought that it would be a cool practical joke. Sheldon with a hard on that he couldn't get rid of. Who wouldn't find that funny?"

"You know, Howard, I should have just knocked you unconscious last night. You're a sleazy, smarmy bastard, aren't you?" I don't know what Bernadette sees in you." Sheldon grabbed Penny's shoulders and shook his head.

"This is not your fight, Penny. You are here to observe only."

He turned to face his erstwhile friends. "Howard, do you know anything whatsoever about the pill you handed me yesterday? There are several adverse reactions, priapism being one of them. Had I been alone I faced surgical intervention because of a peculiarity of the drug. What kind of person are you? That was beyond repugnant."

"Sheldon, I didn't know—Bernie said that it was a libido enhancer—she never said anything about surgery. I wouldn't do that to you, buddy—"

"But you did. Without compunction. You jeopardized my sexual health for your own amusement and that is an action that I will never understand or condone. It was not an acceptable practical joke by any standards."

Leonard glared at Penny. "So, what, you were just a convenient hole then?"

"You will not speak to her like that!" Leonard took a step back and hit the island with his elbow as Sheldon advanced on him, towering over him. "She has been more of a friend than you ever have in the entirety of our acquaintance, Leonard Hofstadter. She was caring for me when I was ill and not myself, which is more than you have _ever_ done. You invent lab accidents and unlikely situations to avoid me. Do you believe me incapable of seeing through your ruses?"

Sheldon crossed his arms, pausing for a moment. "From the day we met her, you have objectified Penny and thought her no better than a piece of chattel. You bounce from woman to woman, seeking gratification and validation that cannot exist in your self-centered vacuum and always you come back to her when yet another female has rejected you. She is not solely a vagina, Leonard. She is a person and shall be treated with respect, not your own personal fuck-toy."

Leonard stumbled over to a stool, sitting down before he fell from the shock. He looked over at Penny and saw the wide smile that was on her face and he heard the death-knell of their relationship, real or imagined.

He looked back at Sheldon when he cleared his throat. "Furthermore, Leonard, I find myself with the distasteful task of calling you out on something that has been at the forefront of my mind for some time now."

Sheldon paced for a moment, found his footing, and faced all three men. "I should not have let this go for so long. I am aware of that now, but I intend to rectify that immediately. The three of you jeopardized everything that defines me as a scientist and a person when you behaved as you did in the Arctic. You not only attempted to besmirch my reputation among my peers, you called into question my methodology and every accomplishment that I have received up to that time. I continue to see the effects of your actions to this day; every paper that I have published since that time has been extensively combed through for errors."

"Oh for God's sake, Sheldon, we told you we were sorry!" Leonard had kept quiet for as long as he was going to—if Sheldon was bringing up that old piece of crap, he wasn't going to take it lying down.

"Your apologies are not accepted. For anything. For destroying our friendship, for violating my trust, for sabotaging my work, for taking advantage of my good nature, for lying to me, for keeping me from developing as a human being and a man, for dissuading me from a relationship with Penny, for everything that you have ever done to wrong me, humiliate me, abuse me, laugh at me." Sheldon stopped speaking long enough to draw breath, and then he continued. "Pursuant to—" He stopped for a moment, his eyes closed, and he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose before he drew another deep breath. "You know what? To hell with the roommate agreement. I want you out of here."

He turned and walked to the door, grabbed Penny's hand, and they went back to her apartment, leaving the three men in stunned silence.

* * *

Penny called Bernadette as soon as they were back in her apartment. She picked up almost immediately, her voice concerned over the phone. "How is Sheldon today, Penny?"

"Well, Bernie, that's what I want to talk to you about. Sheldon's—well, he's different."

"Different? Different how?"

Penny hit the button for the speakerphone and looked at Sheldon. "Sweetie, you explain."

She raised her eyebrow and he relented, hesitant to talk to anyone about the feelings he was experiencing. "Very well, Penny. Bernadette, are there any lasting side effects of this drug being reported? I find myself quite concerned about the way I feel."

"Why—how are you feeling?"

"Well, I find that my normal mode of organization and scheduling are quite unimportant right now."

"Huh?" Bernadette replied.

"Normally, I rise at precisely 6:15am, followed by a scalding hot shower, not only to wake myself but also to disinfect my body from the airborne pathogens that may have contaminated me since the night before. I brush my teeth, scrape my tongue, and use antiseptic mouthwash prior to consuming my breakfast, and then I have my normal morning bowel movement."

"Well, you sound the same," Bernadette said, interrupting him.

"My speech has not been affected. What I was about to say before I was rudely interrupted—this morning I did not do any of those things. What I did, I rushed through because I knew that Penny was coming and I didn't want Howard to say abominable things to her. I probably would not have showered except I felt unbelievably sticky after all the sex that Penny and I participated in together yesterday as a result of the drug—"

"Sheldon!" Penny pushed him back on the couch and away from the speaker. "Bernie doesn't want to hear that."

"I don't—but then again, hearing it from Sheldon is different, isn't it?" Bernadette tried not to giggle, but couldn't help herself.

Penny glanced at Sheldon and saw his frown, reached out and grabbed his hand before speaking. "Not helping, Bernie. So what do we do?"

"Penny, all I can tell you is keep a log of any changes that you notice and I'll see what I can cross-reference from the information I have here. Please keep it under your hat, though—I can get into real trouble if they find out that something like this happened."

"We won't tell anyone. Better put a muzzle on Howard, though."

"Oh, I'll muzzle him all right. He's never been on a leash this tight."

"Is that a metaphor or are you speaking of a bondage and domination ritual?"

Penny stared at Sheldon and Bernadette let out a gasp. "Bernadette, I think we're gonna let you go for now, sweetie. We'll call you later."

She disconnected the call and turned her head to stare at Sheldon. "Where in the hell did that come from?"

He looked at her with large, deceptively innocent eyes. "It was a logical question, Penny. Who knows what type of aberrant behavior Howard would consider? He is a veritable cesspool—everyday contact with anyone is a prompt for him to engage in inappropriate sexual thoughts or comments. Every word that comes from his mouth is thinly veiled in innuendo, as you well know. I would imagine that someone as jaded and desensitized to sex as Howard would have to attain a partner that would not mind going to the extreme."

Penny nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I can see it. Still, who would have thought you would come up with that?"

He turned introspective for a moment, and then looked at her with a strange expression that she couldn't identify. "You know, I believe that I am experiencing a clarity of thought that I haven't attained since I was a child. Only instead of physics, this concerns people. People, Penny!" He grabbed her hands and almost looked childlike in his excitement. "I've never tried to understand. I was a blind person trying to imagine color without ever actually seeing."

"Okay, yeah. So what does this have to do with Howard? And, on a side note, did you realize that you're speech is different?"

"I can see beyond Howard's perversion to the motivation. I can understand now the desperate drive to copulate until exhaustion and chafing because I took the pill that I'm certain he was saving for a night with Bernadette—or perhaps even a random hook-up, as you would call it. Had he not given me those pills yesterday, my understanding of Howard, and therefore the rest of the human race, would have never occurred."

"So, Howard did good?"

"He did _well_, Penny, but he did more than that. Imagine if you will a mind that is stunted and closed, suddenly open and flourishing with new ideas and possibilities. Penny, from the earliest time that I remember I have closed myself off from my emotions because they hurt. All that I ever wanted was to be allowed to think. I wanted to learn everything and know everything. I had to give up something and that sacrifice was any kind of attachment I could manage with people because of their impermanence. Change was…too distracting. People moved on, stayed behind, left, died. Colleagues couldn't be counted on from year to year as opportunities arose. All I ever had or needed was myself."

Penny sat back on the couch and snuggled close to his side, one arm over his lap and the other snaking behind him. She put her head on his shoulder and he unconsciously wrapped his arm around her, draping it over her shoulder and resting on her cocked hip. "Yeah, go on," she prompted.

He looked down at her, unconcerned about the seating arrangement. He settled back against the couch, trapping her arm, and continued in a normal voice. "I've always been so very alone in my head that I couldn't allow access to another person. I'm not naturally a sharer, Penny. Leonard, and by extension, Raj and Howard, were the first people in many, many years that I have allowed to become closer to me and affect my everyday routines and interactions to the point of attaining a social and interpersonal circle amongst them, even considering them peers. Do not ever allow them to obtain that knowledge, though."

"Oh, I won't, Sheldon. And I knew that, Moonpie. I know that you're incredibly capable of love, though. You've done so much for me that I would have never expected. I can't think of another person that I can count on like I can count on you." He ignored the fact she'd called him Moonpie; he had never ignored her calling him Moonpie. It was a known constant in the universe and she filed that little nugget away under Sheldon's changes for further perusal later.

"I was never able to feel emotions like that for anyone, Penny. I've always shut myself down when that type of thing came up. It was…well, Beverly believes that it is because of a superiority complex, but it is so much more than that."

"Fear of being hurt? Being used? What, sweetie?"

"Fear of being alone again."

She tightened her arms around him and squeezed, gratified when she felt his hand grip her hip. "And that's why it hurt when they screwed with your experiment. Because if you told them, if you let them know how wrong it was, they would leave you and you would be alone again."

"Yes." The one word hissed from his lips and he seemed to collapse against her. "If I exposed their treachery, they would all be gone and only I would remain again, solitary and alone."

"You are not alone, Sheldon Lee Cooper."

He looked down at her with a smile. "Another happy accident. I feel so liberated! Just being able to relax and not feel the compulsion to contain myself, hold myself apart—well, I cannot lie, it feels wonderful."

She rested her head on his chest and listened to the stuttering thump of his heart. She looked up at him and he was staring down at her, a secretive smile ghosting over his lips. "Do you think this will last, sweetie?"

"At this point, it is beyond my knowledge. I will not prevaricate, though—I do hope that it does last, if only so I can do this."

He gripped her chin with his fingers and lowered his head to press his mouth against hers. She smiled into his mouth and pulled his body closer, sliding up on the couch to ease the angle he had to bend his neck.

"As for the speech, Penny? Does it matter? I'm still…."

"Oh, hush up and kiss me, Moonpie."

"Very well, Penny."


End file.
